Diary of a sick prego lady- Entry 1

Diary of a sick prego lady

Entry 1: Throwing up in public and peeing your pants.. 

While it may seem strange to have a first entry while at the beginning of my 2nd trimester, I am sure the entries that follow will show that up until this point, it was not physically possible to journal at all. 

As many of you know by now, pregnancy is beyond NOT kind to me.  While I do not wish my little person a way for a second, I do wish I could magically fast forward to November and get this kid out.. 

I still can not keep most food down with out the help of medication.  Do I like taking it? NOPE.. Can I eat a morsel of bread or drink water and keep it down with out it? NOPE! So for the sake of actually growing my human, I have no choice.  When I was growing Emily, I took this medication until the day I delivered.  As long as I took it, I was okay and could eat enough to grow a happy healthy human.  

This kid on the other hand, I am not so lucky.  Even WITH the medication there is a 50/50 chance that it will be rejected immediately.  

Here is the story of the evening: 

I have been craving a french dip/Philly for dinners.  Its the ONLY thing I want.  I have successfully ate them all week with only one small episode where I thought rejection was going to happen but it did not.  

Well, tonight we went to Sheri's because their french dip has been rocking my world, I ate, I loved, and as I was telling a story about how my nausea med was running out and I called to have it refilled, they told me i had no more refills and so they have to call my dr and blah blah..  in the middle of my story, I felt the twinge I get on my left side half way down my side.  The sign that things are going to probably go poorly very quickly.  

I was on the inside of the booth and practically pushed tait out of my way and ran to the bathroom.  A disgusting 2 stall bathroom where a huge group of girls came in right after me.  Apparently they are on a road trip and hadn't stopped for  awhile.. so I have this huge line of people, in a small bathroom while I proceed to throw up everything I had just ate while at the same time forcefully peeing my pants.  

Wanting to die, embarrassed, humiliated, traumatized, I pull myself together with what little dignity I had left,  and open the door of my stall, and see the faces of several people looking at me, appalled and probably as traumatized as I was.  

I got the keys from tait and sat out in the car while he paid our bill .. 

Why am I sharing this extremely embarrassing story so publicly?  Because, I am miserable, this is not a rare occurrence (which is why i rarely leave the house) and I have to find the humor in this whole ordeal otherwise I might not make it to November. its important to me that my dear friends know exactly what I am going through.  I am not making this stuff up, when I say pregnancy is not kind to me, I really just mean it.  Sadly this is not the most traumatizing thing that has happened thus far, however, it IS the most public one.  Back to being a hermit invalid... 

Again, Public service announcement:

I am not interested in tricks and suggestions here on different things I can do to help things.  I don't want to hear them.   

This is just a story I am sharing because I am a sharer.  

Rumor Control/ Public Service Announcement

Rumor Control: 

Random things have already gotten back to me which are painfully not even close too being true so I thought I'd break my silence from my BLOG and go ahead and put some rumors to rest.. here we go: 

1.  Me not wearing my wedding rings:

This has nothing to do with my marital status, I dont like to wear rings while I am prego because if my hands swell and I cant get my rings off, I have a true panic attack and freak out! Think of those who are claustrophobic, their panic attack in small spaces, is how I feel when I cant get my rings off.. So to prohibit stress in my life.. for 9 mos, you will rarely see me in rings..  

2. Tait and I rarely being at church and rarely at the same time:

Again, has nothing to do with our marital status, No we are not separated, No we are not divorcing, No we dont hate each other and refuse to be in the same building together.  None of these things are true.. Do we have our issues? you bet! but that has ZERO impact on our church attendance.  

Tait goes to china every 2 months for at least 2 weeks.   Brutal.  Based on his depart and return schedule, he might or might not be there. 

Pregnancy is NOT kind to me.  (more on this later) Sometimes I just cant make it, there or anywhere for that matter.  Plus taking care of miss Emily Rose adds to stress and sometimes it just cant happen.  I detest it to my soul missing church. It is the worst thing of all time, I don't enjoy it at all.  But God knows I am not avoiding just because. Please know if I am not at church its because the little person I am growing is sucking the life out of me and I just cant.. 

3. Moving:

Due to a variety of factors which need not be discussed, we have decided to move closer to my mom and my sister for their help both while I am prego and after baby is born.  Especially with Tait's travel schedule both this year and next.  We have put in an application and have been approved at a very nice apartment complex, while we will be losing some things from our current place, the location and my needs ended up winning out.  Our lease is up here May 31st and we will move into our new place early June.  During the gap we will be living with mom and dad.  I know its kind of ridiculous that I have to post this especially our itinerary but .. sadly, this needed to be made public because there is much interest and confusion on the topic.  Why anyone cares so much abut where we live and what time table it will be done on, is FAR beyond me.  But there it is folks.  Our plan.. 

This is really a public service announcement more than a rumor bust.  It's really in EVERYONES best interest that you read this and DO pass it along.. 

4. "You should be over that by now" 

As stated before, Pregnancy is NOT kind to me.  It wasn't with emily.  I had to take medication to keep food down until the day I delivered.  This pregnancy seems to be WAY harder than Emily was.  While I was prego with Emily, people constantly said "you should be over that by now" in a horrified tone.  After a while, I wanted to punch them all in the face.  Sometimes I did threaten it with a harsh warning.  There were two little old ladies in the late 80s / early 90s that constantly harassed me and gave me "treatment advice" while I never warned them off, my fist would tighten every time.  I really dont want to hear it

So do yourself a favor.  Dont say "you should be over that by now" and really, I dont want your remedies that worked like a charm for you.  Good for you.... I am glad that chomping on some ginger root/ eating soda crackers,/sniffing shapries/ doing a cartwheel and than drinking orange tea/putting a dob of chapstick  on your pressure points on your elbow/ hopping up and down on one foot and singing show tunes worked.. FOR YOU..  I am not interested in advice, I am interested in prayers that my kid is safe happy healthy and perfect and that I am well enough to care for Emily.  THATSS what I need to hear.. 

 Feel free to warn as many people as possible and spread this fact #4 all around.  You have my permission.  

Also, if you hear things from anyone, and I mean ANYONE, family included, it might be wise to check with myself or Tait before going and telling anyone else...   If I wanted things to be public, I would make them so, if we are still mulling around ideas, (like we were until 2 days ago about moving)  I probably am not going to say much until a decision is made except to maybe a few close and personal friends who I trust to help bounce some things off of for outsider opinion.  Those people know who they are.  

Just some sound advice all around..