Thank your parent for allowing you to live..

This comes to you after a LOOOONG week. I am hibernating up in my bed, flannel sheets that feel like the cozy hug I really just need, a kitty at my feet, wrecking ball Imperial Stout at my side, cloudy thoughts that might make writing impossible. Be warned this could be just random ramblings. My Tait down stairs having quality time with our monster, oh, I mean daughter... I simply cant take any more "nu-uh's" and that expressive look of "I know what you are asking but I am going to either ignore you or throw a life is over fit instead" 

My week has been full of constant "nu-uhs", tears of pure and utter devastation, whiney cries of not getting ones own way, seeking help but not actually wanting help, demands and screams.  AKA.. the mom of a 2 year old.  

How sad is it that we can relate so closely to the raw reactions of a 2 year old? From feeling hopeless about a situation we dont see an end to.  Getting an end and being upset its not the end we wanted.  Seeking wise counsel and when its not what we want to hear, reject it and do what we want anyway?Thus nullifying the potential opportunity to grow and be humbled.  Demanding perfection of ourselves or others, an impossible and fruitless task.  Having a fit when something pushes us over the breaking point

I am thankful that God never hides out from me.  Especially when I am not the picture off awesome. 

Recently I had a sit down to seek some advice on a topic I KNEW I had the wrong attitude about, and overwhelming feelings that were not productive.   NOTHING that was said was anything I wanted to hear at all.  However, It was what I needed to hear.  I needed to hear those things so I could progress and grow as a human.  Did I cry for 2 hours straight and than off and on for the rest of the day? you bet ya! You know, all grown up like.  

So yesterday when Emily was constantly crying non stop for 3 hours straight and than was sweet for 1 hour, napped, woke up and cried and fussed until bed time, constantly crying for not hearing what she wanted or getting what she wanted.  Me being agitated  with her, I am sure 2 weeks ago God was just the same with me saying "Reallly cheryl.... really... " Expecting me to act my age.. I too have to expect that emily will act her age.. which is 2.. Spiritually I am 10, so the fact that I can make this connection so closely to a 2 yr old is appalling and embarrassing to admit. 

I think its important to admit our feelers, fears, short comings, and need for help.  Its by admitting these things we can form bonds.  This can be done by relating because we have been there before like  the desperate cries for help with a struggling mom and being able to say "I have been there, I am there, I love you" asking for and humbly receiving advice to grow and change even if its not something we want to hear.  Maturity is being humbled enough to follow direction of said advice.  

James 5:16 says "Therefore confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed.  The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working"

On this blog, I will confess much.  I think it is important to be open and honest and lay it all down on the line.  How else can we better love eaach other than to pray for one another specifically.  

Point: I think I need to pray a little harder for my poor 2 year old who has a zillion emotions and feelings that she has no idea what to do with.  For her testing and learning.  For her trust in me even if she detests my answer is not what she wants to hear.  She may throw a fit about it, but she does trust that I will hold firm to my answer no matter how many times she asks seeking something different.  I need to exercise more of the patience that God gives me, his 10 year old. I hate it..Patience is a dirty word in my book, but as much as I hate to admit it, its not ALL ABOUT ME!! :) Something I hope to teach her as I grow. 

My Imperial Stout is almost gone, I have inherited another kitty baby for snuggles, the squeals of laughter down stairs as Tait blows through the tube of a empty Reynolds Wrap and chases her around the house for some much needed father-daughter bonding time.  I think hibernation time has ended.  I feel better just typing and getting thoughts out of my head.  

Thank you dear reader... for reading my weekly soap box post.  My Final thought is as follows.  It is by sheer will power of restraint that any of us were allowed to live past the age of 3**.  Thank whomever raised you for demonstrating this restraint because I can almost guarantee that at one point or another, it was touch and go and a questionable choice. 

** age subject to change the older my child gets